Player unplugs phone
"As Stanley picked up the phone, a white light engulfed him, filling him not just with radiance, but with hope. Hope for a life reunited once-"
"Wait... oh goodness... Stanley, did you just unplug the phone?"
"No, that wasn't supposed to be a choice; how did you do that? You actually... chose incorrectly? I didn't even know what was possible."
"Let me double check... *papers rustling*"
"No... it's definitely here, clear as day."
"Stanley picks up the phone; he's taken to his apartment where he finds his wife, and the two pledge themselves to one another. Music comes in, fade to white, roll credits."
"Not picking up the phone is actually somehow an incorrect course of action. How is that even possible? None of these decisions were supposed to mean anything!"
"I don't understand. How on earth are you making meaningful choices? What, did you-"
"Wait a second, did I just see... no, that's not possible. I can't believe it. How had I not noticed it sooner?"
"You're not Stanley. You're a real person. *sigh* I can't believe I was so mistaken. This is why you've been able to make correct and incorrect choices!"
"And to think I've been letting you run around in this game for so long. If you'd made any more wrong choices, you might have negated it entirely!"
"It's as though you've completely ignored even the most basic safety protocol for real world decision-making, or did you not grasp the severity of the situation?"
"Well, I won't have that kind of risk on my watch. I'm going to stop the game for a moment so we can educate you properly on safe decision-making in the real world. Please observe this helpful instructional video."
==
Choice Video ==
"Choice. It's the best part of being a real person - but if used incorrectly, can also be the most dangerous."
"For example: in this scenario, a hypothetical real person named Steven has a choice."
"He could spend years helping improve the quality of life for citizens of impoverished third world nations, or he could systematically set fire to every orphan living in a 30-kilometer radius of his house."
"Which choice would you make?"
"Remember that, unlike here, the real world makes sense, and at no time should you make a choice that does not conform to rational logic."
"If you find yourself speaking with a person who does not make sense, in all likelihood, that person is not real."
"Allow the person to finish their thought, then provide an excuse why you cannot continue talking. Turn to a partner and practice saying: 'My goodness, is it 4:30? I'm supposed to be having a back sack and crack!'"
"Excellent. Making choices on a regular basis is the best path to a healthy decision making process."
"Most medical professionals recommend making at least eight choices per day. Do you make more than eight? Less?"
"And finally, if you begin to wonder if your choices are actually meaningful and whether you'll ever make a significant contribution to the world,"
"just remember that in the vast infiniteness of space, your thoughts and problems are materially insignificant, and the feeling should subside."
"At this time, your instructor will guide you in an exercise to test and reinforce the material covered in this video."
==
After helpful video ==
"Ah, welcome back. You may have noticed that this room has begun to deteriorate as a result of narrative contradiction."
"But not to worry. Now that you've properly informed on good decision making, we're going to revisit a choice you made just a few minutes ago and see what the correct thing to do would've been."
"This way, please."
"Now that we know your choices are meaningful, we can't have you jumping off the platform and dying!"
"Imagine the main character dying senselessly halfway through the story! That story would make no sense at all."
"We just need to get you home as soon as possible before the narrative contradiction gets any worse. Unfortunately, it seems this place is not well-equipped to deal with reality."
"Almost there! You'll take the door on the left, back to the correct ending, the story will have resolution once again, and you'll be home free in the real world!"
"Now remember, all you need to do is behave exactly as Stanley would."
"That means choosing responsibly and always putting the story first. I'm quite sure you'll be up to the task; just follow my lead and you'll be fine. Alright! *ahem*"
"When Stanley came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left."
==
Entered Right Door ==
"No! Why did you do that?! Quickly, hurry back in the other direction, perhaps we're not too late!"
"Ugh! It's ruined! You- I can't believe after everything we talked about you... my story... you've destroyed my work!"
"Why?! For what!? What did you get out of that? What did you think was so special about seeing the game undone?"
"Left here like so much garbage, it's... well, it's worthless now. And what am I supposed to do? Even if there were a way to continue, would it be worth it?"
"To know that my story is now incorrect? How can I go back to that? I can't erase that knowledge."
"I'll have to live with it forever. Reliving its impossibility forever. I couldn't live that way. Is it better to shut the game down entirely? To willingly destroy all of my work?"
"I don't know.... What's the answer?"
"What do I do... what do I do... what do I-"
"No, I have to. I have to shut the game down. I have to. I have to!"
"Woooaaahhhh! I'm... I'm here."
"I'm still here. Here in this pile of rubbish. With you. You - who thought you were so clever."
"Now look at where we are. My entire game is destroyed. It was the only thing in the world that was mine and you've run it into the ground."
"What, did you think it would be funny? You just had to see? Didn't I impress upon you how important it was to be like Stanley?"
"He actually knows how to do what I tell him to. He understands that if I say to do something, there's a damn good reason for it!"
"That thought hadn't even occurred to you, had it? That there's a world outside of you? You're a child."
"Ohhh, my story. If you had just gone through the door on the left you would have seen it. There was a whole underground facility. You would have destroyed it and been victorious."
"It would have been so perfect. I worked so hard on it. I tried so hard to make-"
==
Entered Left Door ==
"Yet there was not a single person here either. Feeling a wave of disbelief, Stanley decided to go up to his boss's office, hoping he might find an answer there."
"Coming to a staircase, Stanley walked upstairs to his boss's office."
"Stepping into his manager's office, Stanley was once again stunned to discover not an indication of any human life."
"Shocked, unraveled, Stanley wondered in disbelief who orchestrated this, until he saw the door with a voice receiver next to it."
"Surely behind this door lay all the answers to all his questions! And beyond all probability, he knew the passcode. He had seen it on his boss's computer just last week: 'Night shark 1-1-5.'"
"Was this the code to open the door? Would it still work? There was only one way to find out."
"Stanley had been trained never to speak up, but now he would draw from within himself the courage to face the unknown. He drew a sharp breath, and then spoke the code."
"*ahem* Stanley spoke the code. 'Night shark 1-1-5.' He spoke it into the receiver, right there on the wall."
"I'm sorry, is there a problem? You didn't mishear me, did you?"
"Please, speak the code into the receiver, otherwise we can't get on the story. This is a crucial step."
"Okay. Fine. You're not going to do it."
"But you know what? It's pretty humiliating to bring you this far only for you to suddenly decide you have better things to do."
"I asked you for this one single thing, for your respect, the kind of respect Stanley shows for his choices. He knows what it means to take a story seriously."
"If you didn't want to see what I had to show you, then why did you come here?! You had a choice, you know, you could have gone through the door on the right!""You could have done whatever the hell you wanted over there! Why did you come this way?!"
"Speak! Say something to me! Explain yourself! You coward!!"
==
Player out-of-bounds looking into the Two Doors Room ==
When Stanley came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left."
"Stanley? Hello? Are you... is everything okay?"
"Stanley, please... I... I need you to make a choice. I need you to walk through the door."
"Are you listening to me? Can you hear me? Is everything alright?"
"Stanley, this is important. The story needs you. It needs you to make a decision. It cannot exist without you. Do you understand me?"
"Whatever choice you make is just fine, they are both correct; you cannot be wrong here. We can work together; I'll accept whatever you do. I simply need you to take that step forward. Please? Choose?"
"Do something! Anything. This is more important than you can ever know. I need this. The story needs it."
"So, you hear me? Are you there? Are you listening to this? Stanley, are you there?!"
"I... okay... it's okay, I can wait. You need time to decide, time to make sure your choice is correct. That is the best choice."